DDDA Directors & The Anglo Irish Bank's Banana

The Story of The DDDA Directors & The Anglo Irish Bank's Banana

The experiment involved five Dublin Developers Autocracy Directors, a cage, a banana, a ladder and, crucially, a water hose.

The 5 DDDA Directors would be locked in a cage, after which an Anglo Irish Bank banana was hung from the ceiling with, fortunately for the DDDA Directors (or so it seemed…), a ladder placed right underneath it.

Of course, immediately, one of the DDDA Directors would race towards the ladder, intending to climb it and grab the banana. However, as soon as he would start to climb, Seanie would spray the Director with ice-cold water. In addition, however, he would also spray the other four DDDA Directors…

When a second Director was about to climb the ladder, Seanie would, again, spray the Director with ice-cold water, and apply the same treatment to its four fellow inmates; likewise for the third climber and, if they were particularly persistent (or dumb), the fourth one. Then they would have learned their lesson: they were not going to climb the ladder again – banana or no banana.

In order to gain further pleasure or, I guess, prolong the experiment, Seanie outside the cage would then replace one of the DDDA Directors with a new one. As can be expected, the new guy would spot the banana, think “why don’t these idiots go get it?!” and start climbing the ladder. Then, however, it got interesting: the other four DDDA Directors, familiar with the cold-water treatment, would run towards the new guy – and beat him up. The new guy, blissfully unaware of the cold-water history, would get the message: no climbing up the ladder in this cage – banana or no banana.

When the beast outside the cage would replace a second Director with a new one, the events would repeat themselves – Director runs towards the ladder; other DDDA Directors beat him up; new Director does not attempt to climb again – with one notable detail: the first new Director, who had never received the cold-water treatment himself (and didn’t even know anything about it), would, with equal vigour and enthusiasm, join in the beating of the new guy on the block.

When the researcher replaced a third Director, the same thing happened; likewise for the fourth until, eventually, all the DDDA Directors had been replaced and none of the ones in the cage had any experience or knowledge of the cold-water treatment.

Then, a new Director was introduced into the cage. It ran toward the ladder only to get beaten up by the others. Yet, this Director turned around and asked “why do you beat me up when I try to get the banana?” The other four DDDA Directors stopped, looked at each other slightly puzzled and, finally, shrugged their shoulders: “Don’t know. But that’s the way we do things around here”…

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